Your 3 Year Old Refusing To Potty Train? Here’s How To Fix That 

Ah, the infamous potty training. You’re excited to put an end to diaper changes and watch as your toddler becomes more independent and learns to use the toilet on their own. However, your kid is three and is still having a hard time learning how to use the potty. Is your kid ever going to learn? Will they be a teen and still be in diapers? Not so fast. No need to be afraid just yet


It’s Quite Common

This is actually quite common. Society tends to imply that when your kid is two, they should know how to use the toilet. If they don’t, then something is wrong. However, by three years, a good chunk of kids aren’t toilet train to the fullest extent. Some kids will learn how to use the toilet earlier, and some later. It all depends on the child. 

However, because we feel like children should be toilet trained at a certain age, we feel like a failure if they aren’t. We may even lash out on the child. Neither of these things are the right approach. There are many better ways to go about it instead. 

Don’t Compare Your Kid To Another 

The worst thing you could do is make it a race. If your kid has an older sibling who was toilet trained at a younger age, or you know someone who was, don’t compare. It’s not a race or a contest. It doesn’t mean one kid is smarter than the other. Making your kid feel bad because someone else did it faster may give your kid some serious consequences.


Don’t Yell

It can be frustrating, we know. You just want your kid to use the toilet so you don’t have to deal with changing them. However, the last thing you want to do is lose your temper. This will make the kid feel bad and is not a bad example. If you feel frustrated, talk to a therapist or your friends. Don’t let it out on your kid. 

Potty training is not a linear process. Sometimes, your kid may be using the toilet just fine, and then they make an accident. Instead of yelling at them because you think they are regressing, instead tell the kid that it’s okay and they can try again the next time.

Separate Night And Day Training

One thing you can do to help them train better is to make sure that both trainings are separate. First, master the daytime training, and the work on nighttime training and teaching your kid to wake up and use the bathroom if they need to. Putting everything on one plate may be too intimidating for your little one.


Is Your Child Asking About It?

One way you can tell whether or not your kid is ready for toilet training is if they tell you they have to use the bathroom, or they ask where the toilet is. If your child is always asking about it, this is a good way to encourage them to toilet train. If they aren’t talking about it, it may not be the time yet. 

Can They Pull Up Their Pants And Listen?

Another way you need to make sure that they’re ready for the toilet training process is to see whether or not they are capable of listening to directions and keeping their pants pulled up. If they can, it may be time to toilet train. If they are still having trouble following directions, it may not be the time yet.


Positive, Not Negative Reinforcement 

Rewarding your child for using the toilet is always a good thing. Pat them on the head and praise them. If they continue to do well, give them a special treat. Avoid getting too punishing if they make a mistake, and instead reward them. Something like toilet training shouldn’t require a punishment, as sometimes, they can’t control their movements. 

Associating Poop With The Toilet 

If your kid is still making accidents, instead of tossing the poop in the garbage, put it in the toilet (obviously, not the entire diaper,) and make sure your child is watching this. They may begin to associate using the bathroom with the toilet. 

Keep It Entertaining

When toilet training your little one, read a story to them, and put their favorite toy or doll on the toilet. You want to make toilet time more fun, as the toilet can be a confusing, scary time for your kid. By keeping things entertaining, you can keep it interesting. 

Make Sure Their Diet Is Good 

If your child is having a hard time being consistent with using the bathroom, it may be the lack of fiber or another poor aspect of their diet. For example, you may be not giving your kid enough fiber, making them constipated and making them pass the stools when they don’t want to. Review your kid’s diet and see if that’s the culprit. 


Learn About Your Kid 

Toilet training can be stressful, and every kid responds to stress differently. This is a time where you may be able to learn more about your child and see how they handle stress. Everyone does in their own way, and this can help you figure out how you can take care of your child better. 

One way you can do this is to speak to a child psychologist and look at your options.

Seeking Help 

While there are going to be some late bloomers in toilet training, if you feel like their lateness is a sign of a bigger problem, talking to a child psychologist may be a good move. You can learn a lot more about the psychology of your child and figure out if there is an underlying problem, or if your child is just late. 

We know that toilet training is frustrating, but with a little patience and love, you can succeed with it and be better as a result. 




DISCLAIMER (IMPORTANT): This information (including all text, images, audio, or other formats on is not intended to be a substitute for informed professional advice, diagnosis, endorsement or treatment. You should not take any action or avoid taking action without consulting a qualified professional.   Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions about medical conditions. Do not disregard professional medical advice or delay seeking advice or treatment because of something you have read here a

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